Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence as a terminology is getting a lot of traction in recent times among individuals and corporations alike. Across times, the prevailing career/leadership/spiritual advocacies have all been centered on improving your emotional intelligence. High emotional intelligence is being increasingly seen as the key differentiator between high performing individuals/leaders and others, in both professional and personal spheres alike. Most importantly, studies have shown that people with high emotional intelligence have greater mental health, with associated benefits in the many areas of life.
Emotional Intelligence
It is important to differentiate between emotions and feelings. Simply stated, emotions are the cause (stemming from the subconscious) and feelings are the effect (conscious perceptions). Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to perceive, understand and manage yourself at the emotional level.
Emotional Intelligence
A deep dive into your emotional world is necessary to progress your emotional intelligence. The granularity of analyzing the emotions has to be adequately fine, and most importantly, the fine granularities need to be personalized effectively based on your actual emotional profile. Objective feedback is the key to this, as elusive it is, due to the ubiquitous subjective lens. In summary, the emotional intelligence growth journey is nothing but the converging of your subjective reality with the objective.
Improving Emotional Intelligence
“Emotional Quotient (EQ)” is the measure of emotional intelligence. To improve EQ,, there is no “one size fits all” approach. In fact, it starts with your own obsession. Yes, you do have an obsession, the area of life where you spend most time on. Your emotional intelligence has a lot to do with your obsession and how well managed it is.
The Twelve Polarities of Life
The flow of life. The journey that the body goes through. The jobs that we do. The identities that we carry. The story of how life unfolds in relation to who we are.
Adding value to others. The resources that we need to fulfill our responsibilities. The money. The food. The possessions. The people we take responsibility for. The family. The friends.
A scientific or logical perspective applied to a given situation. Reasoning. Listening. Peer level communication. Experimentation. Hobbies. Nothing too heavy. Practicality. Training.
The deepest. Psychology. Feelings. Receptive. Passive. The feminine (side). Mother. Safe haven. Home. Bank balance. Treasure.
Intelligence. Dynamic self-expression. Performative. Creativity. Offspring. Growth. Consistency. Organization. Decoration. Staging.
The enemy. The challenges. The obstacles. The delays. The diseases. The complications. The trappings. The stress. Life on earth.
The other. The transaction. The stage and the audience. The things that cannot be done without a partner. The relationship. The transactional love. The sexuality.
The bolt from the blue. The flaws. The failures. The chronic issues. The unexpected. The sudden rise and the fall. The partner’s money. The trust. The devotion. The spiritual technique. The transformation. The mystical. The lottery.
Parents. Culture. Belief. Religion. Philosophy. Commitment. Marriage. Fortune. Guidance. The greater purpose. Higher self.
The doing. Actions. The masculine (side). Father. Leadership. Competency. The highest.
The biggest gains. The trophy. The award. The promotion. The titles. Someone you look up to. Elder sibling. External validation. Social network. Big group.
The loss. The expense. The letting go. The charity. The investment. The vacation. The internet. The retreats. Off the grid. The escape. Sleep. Meditation. Contemplation. Liberation.
Pairwise Polarities
You can have a better comprehension of the twelve polarities of life when organized pairwise, as shown. It can be now clearly seen that the polarities of life can be described by six axes with each having a pair of opposing polarities.
The Castle and the Jungle
You were born with a different level of talent for each of the polarities. The polarity where you were born with the strongest foundation or talent, is your “castle”, so to speak. The opposite polarity in its axis is your weakest foundation, by virtue of it being opposite to your strongest foundation. This is your “jungle”, so to speak.
Count on yourself on spending the most of your time in your “castle”, rather than the rest of the eleven polarities, especially its opposing pair, the “jungle”. In fact, the “jungle” polarity would be the one you stay away from, since it is the least developed of your polarities and is the polarity where you would be most likely to fail. The “jungle” would mean insecurity, in contrast with the security and comfort you can find in your “castle”.
Suffice it to say, the “castle-jungle” polarity pair is a special pair, of all the six pairs. The “castle” is your obsession and the journey of growth in your emotional intelligence is all about balancing this primary pair of polarities, by engaging with and developing your “jungle” polarity.
The Security Paradigm
The important thing to remember here is that the obsession with the “castle” polarity happens because of the in-born strongest foundation in that particular polarity.
The strongest foundation turns into a “security paradigm” which turns into an obsession as far as the “castle” polarity is concerned.
Needless to say, the “jungle” polarity, the opposing polarity of the security paradigm has the weakest foundation of all the polarities. And, the flow of decisions in life happen in such a way that the most profound learning is concentrated in the “jungle” polarity (the polarity with the weakest foundation).
UPTIGHT and FALSE
The security paradigm (the “castle”) can be best described as causing an “UPTIGHT” personality in the areas of life affected by that polarity and its opposing polarity (the “jungle”) can be best described as causing a “FALSE” personality in the areas of life affected by it.
The Pairwise Dynamics (Click to Read More)
The flow of life. The journey that the body goes through. The jobs that we do. The identities that we carry. The story of how life unfolds in relation to who we are.
The other. The transaction. The stage and the audience. The things that cannot be done without a partner. The relationship. The transactional love. The sexuality.
Adding value to others. The resources that we need to fulfill our responsibilities. The money. The food. The possessions. The people we take responsibility for. The family. The friends.
The bolt from the blue. The flaws. The failures. The chronic issues. The unexpected. The sudden rise and the fall. The partner’s money. The trust. The devotion. The spiritual technique. The transformation. The mystical. The lottery.
A scientific or logical perspective applied to a given situation. Reasoning. Listening. Peer level communication. Experimentation. Hobbies. Nothing too heavy. Practicality. Training.
Parents. Culture. Belief. Religion. Philosophy. Commitment. Marriage. Fortune. Guidance. The greater purpose. Higher self.
The deepest. Psychology. Feelings. Receptive. Passive. The feminine (side). Mother. Safe haven. Home. Bank balance. Treasure.
The doing. Actions. The masculine (side). Father. Leadership. Competency. The highest.
Intelligence. Dynamic self-expression. Performative. Creativity. Offspring. Growth. Consistency. Organization. Decoration. Staging.
The biggest gains. The trophy. The award. The promotion. The titles. Someone you look up to. Elder sibling. External validation. Social network. Big group.
The enemy. The challenges. The obstacles. The delays. The diseases. The complications. The trappings. The stress. Life on earth.
The loss. The expense. The letting go. The charity. The investment. The vacation. The internet. The retreats. Off the grid. The escape. Sleep. Meditation. Contemplation. Liberation.
EQ Evolution
The Rabbit Hole
As mentioned in the above sections, the key to improving emotional intelligence lies in your emotional world, the resolution of your internal conflicts. This means entering the world of your “INSIDERS” and managing their conflicting influences on each other. And this brings us to the crux of it all, the deep dive into . . . .